Basically, I walked from Minneapolis to Duluth...and back.
That is over 570,000 steps.
In two months...
Ten thousand steps a day - which is about five miles - it's become kind of an obsession on my part. Just ask my husband or daughter.
It is good to have a goal. When I first started tracking my steps I was barely walking five thousand steps in a day. But once I started to get to ten thousand on a regular basis I couldn't stop. I HAD to walk til I met my goal. And believe me, with the weather we have been having the last couple of weeks, it isn't easy. I have had some lunchtime walks in pretty cold weather and still had to find creative ways to complete my steps for the day.
At first, I felt guilty if I came home from work and after taking Ellie for a walk, headed down to the basement to get those last thousand steps in on my treadmill. Funny thing is, Lance doesn't care. He thinks it is "cute" that I can't quit before I have all my steps in. And Ellie, well she just waits outside the door of the unfinished part of the basement (where the treadmill is) until I am done. Bonus, because I am either walking Ellie or walking myself, Lance gets dinner ready making whatever meal I pulled out for the evening.
So, why am I still not satisfied with my progress?
As they say, we are our own harshest critic.
You see, deep down I want to be a runner.
I see myself gliding down the street - never out of breath - knees not aching - effortless.
And then reality sets in.
Running is hard work.
When I was in middle school I was on the track team for one season. I ran the half mile - and always struggled to compete. I didn't understand that to run a half-mile in a meet I needed to run and run and run for miles - every day. I needed to run much more than just the half-mile event I was competing in. I needed to be committed to my goal...and I really wasn't.
Still, I remember the one time I placed third in a meet. I had a very poor time - barely made it over the finish line - and my legs felt like lead weights. But I did it - I was a medal winner.
I may have struggled to finish - but people were cheering me on and it felt great!
When I was in my twenties I got the running bug again. I was living in the town of Huron, South Dakota, worked odd hours, had no real friends, just biding my time until I could move to Minneapolis to be with my future husband. I had nothing else to do with my spare time - so I ran. I ran in the early evening when I got home from work, in the mornings when I worked at night, and in the afternoons when I was lonely. I first attempted to conquer a mile and mostly walked. But I didn't give up and kept trying - day after day. Then one afternoon I was running and BOOM - I felt like I could go forever. I was gliding down the street - not out of breath - and nothing hurt. Wow.
I loved that feeling.
I think that is why I don't want to admit I may be a better walker than a runner.
I once experienced the runner's high - and want it back.
I have attempted to run since moving to Colorado. That first year I used to take Ellie for a short walk after work and then attempt to run a mile in the open space behind our condo. I was never able to run a full mile - mostly did the run/walk thing. But, I did participate in a 5K with my daughter that spring and it felt pretty darn good (even though I walked as much - or more - than I ran). The competitor in me was excited that I completed the run in under my goal of forty-five minutes. The pessimist in me wanted to know why I didn't do better.
I told you - my own worst critic.
My biggest issue with running today...I am thirty years older and thirty pounds heavier than the last time I truly considered myself a runner. My body (and mind) complains more when I try to run. It tells me this is hard with every creak of my knee, ache of my muscles and strained breath.
And yet, I still want to run a 5K.
Is that silly? Maybe. Am I grudgingly getting up at 5:15am two weekday mornings to train on the treadmill? Yes and I struggle to do so since I am not even remotely close to being a morning person. Thank goodness for my one weekend session - at least I don't have to get up early three days a week. I don't really enjoy my treadmill time (even though I get to watch Netflix for a half hour while I work on following my 5K app). It is a struggle to run even four minutes. I've been stuck on Week Four, Day One for over a week. Ugh! I am hoping the weather improves so I can try running outside. Maybe I will enjoy it more?
No matter, I am going to continue to run and walk to the best of my ability. And I will complete a 5K this year - happy to finish no matter what the outcome.
Goals are good.
Progress, no matter how slow, is good.
Remaining positive about myself - celebrating the small victories - is really good.
