Her fiancé was sweetly traditional and asked our permission before he proposed. After doling out copious amounts of advice (which he graciously accepted) we finally gave our blessing. The question was not a surprise as the two have been dating for over two years, were friends before that, and have a special connection that was obvious to all who saw them together.
He proposed in the morning light, at a quiet park in Kaitlyn's favorite Stillwater, singing her a love song and getting down on one knee to ask the all important question. The ring was Kaitlyn's grandma's and Paul had replaced the existing amethyst stone with a gorgeous diamond - a thoughtful combination of old and new.
My baby is about to become a married lady.
Wow - that both excites and terrifies me.
Excitement - well that is obvious. She has matured into a young woman I am extremely proud of. She is going to be a beautiful bride, a loving wife, a adventurous life-mate for her future husband, and someday a wonderful mother.
It is exciting to talk wedding details and see how good she is at putting it all together. She has such vision and the connections to make her visions materialize, along with the support of her fiancé, family and friends. Never a predictable girl, this wedding is sure to be a mix of traditional and unconventional.
It was amazing to watch her try on wedding dresses - a wondrous combination of adult sensibilities and excited child. It brought back memories of watching her try on my wedding dress for fun when she was a little girl. I had flashes of her in the flower girl/miniature bride dress when she was five and part of my niece's wedding party. And it made me think of my own wedding - regretting that I did not invite my mother to join me in the search for the perfect dress until after I had found it.
So, what terrifies me?
I realize Kaitlyn is no longer my little girl and I feel a little sad about the loss. She is not only creating her own family, but she is joining another as a daughter-in-law. The dynamics of our family are rapidly changing - not just for her, but for her dad and I, too. That can be a little scary.
I find myself wondering, where did the time go? Life is moving a such a fast pace!
I look at her and see memories mixed with potential.
She is me, thirty-plus years ago. A young woman excited about her future with her new husband, ready to take on the world hand in hand. But, she is also not me - she is much less conservative in her decision making and much more confident of her talents and potential than I ever was of mine. She sees life as a grand adventure and is prepared to jump into whatever opportunities God brings her - feet first with her loving husband by her side - throwing all caution to the wind.
I remember the day Kaitlyn was born as clearly as if it were yesterday. I remember the times we spent together when she was a little girl; going to the zoo, making up games, cooking together. I remember her first day of school, her childhood friendships, her highs and lows, her accomplishments and failures. I remember all the soccer games, basketball games, athletic and academic endeavors. I remember her milestone events - baptism, confirmation, graduation from high school and college. I remember the genuine pleasure of just talking, going on walks, and simply spending time together.
I don't want to lose our precious bond.
While her upcoming marriage has created in me a mixture of feelings - I know, deep down, that our relationship as mother and daughter is just moving into a new phase. Kaitlyn is about to begin a new adventure and I am thrilled for her. I want to believe the old saying is true...we are not losing a daughter but gaining a son.
With that in mind, I am going to rethink my initial reaction to the upcoming nuptials...there is no room for worry in my heart.
I am excited for Kaitlyn and Paul...period...and look forward to watching them grow together in this next phase of their lives.
