True to form, I began by making a spreadsheet - who I would see, where I would stay, when I would be in each location and for how long.
It turns out that driving for seventeen days across the country by yourself is not just a chance to see friends and family, but an interesting learning experience.
First, I learned that I can drive for a very long time without making a pit stop. Second, I discovered that every rest stop in Nebraska is EXACTLY THE SAME, which gave me a weird sense of deja-vu when I pulled in - how far had I actually travelled? Third, I should really have brought more than one CD (or at least an I-pod) for the no radio zones in Nebraska and Wyoming (although Tim McGraw was a great travelling companion.)
The reaction I got when I arrived for a visit or lunch or drinks was usually - wait, you drove all the way from Denver...by yourself?
Even my twenty-four year old daughter was shocked when I told her of my plans.
My reaction - why wouldn't I take this road trip? I am a grown woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself. And this is not the first time I traveled cross country by myself.
In the grand scheme of things, my trip was a success.
I had wonderful conversations, lunches, breakfasts, happy hours, walks, dinners, celebrations and evenings by the campfire with friends and family I had not seen for a very long time. The years melted away with ease as we fell back into comfortable conversations.
And I never lacked for a place to lay my head at night.
The only downside - I was so focused on my destinations and keeping to my schedule that I sometimes missed the joy of the journey.
I never stopped in Ogallala, Nebraska. No special reason why I should have - except that ever since I watched the mini-series Lonesome Dove back in the mid 80's and they stayed at a ranch in Ogallala I have loved the name of the town.
I drove right by John Wayne's birthplace and the bridges of Madison County - because I wanted to make the hotel in Des Moines by my self-imposed deadline.
I didn't stop to take pictures of the gorgeous views in South Dakota and Wyoming. I didn't stop in the small town I drove through to enjoy a meal at a local café. I pushed on, wanting to keep on schedule. All to prove...what?
I managed to see both my niece and brother in record time before heading to the Twin Cities for a stop at my former workplace (another self-imposed deadline). I visited for an hour or so with my niece before I headed to see my brother. He could not get off work - so I stopped in at Sam's Club, found him, chatted for a few minutes and left. I could have spent the day in the area, stayed for dinner with my brother, but I had a schedule to keep...
The rest of my trip followed the same pattern.
See friends and family, but keep on schedule. I had meals with friends in Minneapolis - stayed at their houses - and followed my spreadsheet. I attended my cousin's wedding - stayed with my family - stayed with friends. I drove to southern Wisconsin - saw more friends - stayed with more family - ate more planned meals. Back to Minnesota for a night with more friends - a graduation celebration - and meals with more friends. Then on to South Dakota for more of the same.
I was trying hard to be in control and keep on my preplanned itinerary at all times.
Thank goodness life didn't always cooperate...
An unscheduled morning early in my trip gave me time to enjoy a Northern Lite Latte at Caribou Coffee, start to read a book just for the fun of it, and walk the trails in Bunker Hills Park. I tried to schedule a breakfast meeting - but am so glad it didn't work out.
Happy hour with the Ham Lake mom's was planned, but the walk to and from the restaurant was not. Turns out, that walk was just as important as the planned part of the night. The following day, a spontaneous stroll around the old neighborhood turned into a simple breakfast with another friend. This gave us a chance to share in ways we never did when we lived by each other.
My tendency to over plan would have meant missing those opportunities.
Keeping to my spreadsheet would have resulted in missing the frozen custard we "had" to have after my nephew's baseball game. I would never have eaten at that quirky little restaurant in Madison. And I would have missed out on a Wisconsin fish fry...
A random turn on our way to see Mount Rushmore landed me and my friends in the yard of a former co-worker who had a cabin in the area. He and his wife were not on my itinerary for the day - but it sure worked out great!
So, what did I really learn on this trip?
I learned that planning has its place in life - but being flexible to change that plan is even more important. I learned that not every minute of every day needs to be scheduled. I learned that it is important to be spontaneous.
Tough lesson for someone who likes to be in control (or at least likes to think she is in control).
I also learned the importance of friends and family. They are the reason I started this journey - and the reason I was able to complete it. Making connections, staying connected, and investing time in those connections is so important. I could never have done this trip without them.
A good friend told me that I would not be truly retired until I could do a road trip without the spreadsheet. For someone who is a planner by nature, this is a scary thought, but I believe she may be on to something.
I will probably never be a person who gives up all control - that is so against my nature. But, I have learned the value of not trying to control everything. So, maybe that next trip I will leave a few more open spots on my internal spreadsheet...who knows what great things will happen?
