When I decided to "step out", as a friend of mine called it, I made a lengthy list of all the things I wanted to do with my newly acquired free time. It was a great list and included more reading, writing, crafting, volunteering, exercising, enrolling in classes, learning new skills and taking on various artistic endeavors.
It did not include the more mundane reality of having lots of time to do everything...and yet somehow doing very little.
As my daughter so eloquently reminded me in a recent blog post, "The plan I have today is not necessarily the plan for my tomorrow." I thought I was ready to retire at fifty-eight. I thought I would not miss the routine of going to a job. I thought I had my retirement activities all figured out; but life does not always go according to plan...
Things I learned...
I don't like telling people I am "retired", even when I say I took an "early retirement". First, they assume I am older than what I am (not something any woman wants to hear!). Second, they assume I won't say no to any task or invitation they extend because I am not working and should have lots of free time. Third, I am still trying to figure out what this next life stage looks like and often find myself feeling a little lost.
I feel guilty when I am not busy. Sit down to read a book or watch a movie? I should be working outside, cleaning, making a meal - doing something that sounds productive. But reading? What will my husband think of me? I need to report back on all the useful things I did - not the ways I relaxed...
Pottery class was fun, but after several sessions I had run out of ideas on what to make (and run out of room to store piece after piece of mostly mediocre pottery.) My cabinets runneth over...
Hiking with the "senior group" was a great past-time, but because I hiked during the week I was less likely to want to hike with my husband on the weekend. Not a side affect I anticipated...
It was really easy to put things on my to do list off to another day, or week, or month because, well, I'm retired. I found myself distracted by the most random events...and suddenly the day had gone by without my really doing anything.
I missed the structure of going to a job every day. And the social aspect. And the sense of accomplishment. And the paycheck. And the health insurance.
SO...
I decided the last year was a sabbatical...not my retirement.
It was a year to relax and recharge. A year to reflect on what I enjoyed...and what I didn't. A year to spend more time with friends and family. A year to try new hobbies. A year to work on my yard - and a year to discover I am not a gardener. A year to see what retirement life could be like...when I am really ready.
Funny how life does not always go according to plan.
I am going back to work. And not just any work - back to where I left off a year ago.
When I mentioned to a former co-worker I was thinking about returning to the work force the ball started rolling...quickly! I applied for a few jobs in the area - even had an interview. But nothing was really feeling "right".
And then, my old boss emailed me. We met for lunch. He heard I was looking for a job. A former customer heard I was looking. Everyone thought I should consider returning to the job I was good at. It could be as if I had never left: same pay, same benefits, same hours, same customers and co-workers, Monday through Thursday, just like before I "retired". They wanted me back...if I was interested.
I was interested.
And so now, my sabbatical is coming to an end. I am recharged. I am excited. I am ready for the structure and fulfillment of a challenging job with a company that could not have been more supportive of my needs.
Retirement is in my future...just not yet.
It did not include the more mundane reality of having lots of time to do everything...and yet somehow doing very little.
As my daughter so eloquently reminded me in a recent blog post, "The plan I have today is not necessarily the plan for my tomorrow." I thought I was ready to retire at fifty-eight. I thought I would not miss the routine of going to a job. I thought I had my retirement activities all figured out; but life does not always go according to plan...
Things I learned...
I don't like telling people I am "retired", even when I say I took an "early retirement". First, they assume I am older than what I am (not something any woman wants to hear!). Second, they assume I won't say no to any task or invitation they extend because I am not working and should have lots of free time. Third, I am still trying to figure out what this next life stage looks like and often find myself feeling a little lost.
I feel guilty when I am not busy. Sit down to read a book or watch a movie? I should be working outside, cleaning, making a meal - doing something that sounds productive. But reading? What will my husband think of me? I need to report back on all the useful things I did - not the ways I relaxed...
Pottery class was fun, but after several sessions I had run out of ideas on what to make (and run out of room to store piece after piece of mostly mediocre pottery.) My cabinets runneth over...
Hiking with the "senior group" was a great past-time, but because I hiked during the week I was less likely to want to hike with my husband on the weekend. Not a side affect I anticipated...
It was really easy to put things on my to do list off to another day, or week, or month because, well, I'm retired. I found myself distracted by the most random events...and suddenly the day had gone by without my really doing anything.
I missed the structure of going to a job every day. And the social aspect. And the sense of accomplishment. And the paycheck. And the health insurance.
SO...
I decided the last year was a sabbatical...not my retirement.
It was a year to relax and recharge. A year to reflect on what I enjoyed...and what I didn't. A year to spend more time with friends and family. A year to try new hobbies. A year to work on my yard - and a year to discover I am not a gardener. A year to see what retirement life could be like...when I am really ready.
Funny how life does not always go according to plan.
I am going back to work. And not just any work - back to where I left off a year ago.
When I mentioned to a former co-worker I was thinking about returning to the work force the ball started rolling...quickly! I applied for a few jobs in the area - even had an interview. But nothing was really feeling "right".
And then, my old boss emailed me. We met for lunch. He heard I was looking for a job. A former customer heard I was looking. Everyone thought I should consider returning to the job I was good at. It could be as if I had never left: same pay, same benefits, same hours, same customers and co-workers, Monday through Thursday, just like before I "retired". They wanted me back...if I was interested.
I was interested.
And so now, my sabbatical is coming to an end. I am recharged. I am excited. I am ready for the structure and fulfillment of a challenging job with a company that could not have been more supportive of my needs.
Retirement is in my future...just not yet.
