I began to skim the introduction and realized this was not just a book to read casually, but a book on how to recover your lost creativity, Along with insights by the author, it is a workbook full of daily and weekly tasks. Some tasks, like the morning pages, are to be done consistently every day throughout the entire twelve week process. Others are to be done once a week, and still others are tasks to be completed as part of a specific chapter. At the end of each chapter there is a check-in to help determine how things went that week. Instead of an easy read, this was going to be work!
Work that I decided to commit myself to do.
Over the next twelve weeks, you can follow me as I enter this journey to recover my creativity. I will try to explain what I am doing and why. My plan is to highlight one aspect of my journey each week. Part of the process is to learn to let go of my rigid habits and way of thinking, embracing the more creative side of me. So, don't be upset if this initial plan changes. I have a feeling evolution is inevitable!
To begin at the beginning, what are morning pages and why are they important?
Every day before I get on to my usual tasks, I am to hand write three pages of whatever comes into my head. In preparation, I purchased a pretty notebook, consciously choosing the smaller steno size for this purpose. As I grumbled through my first day of writing, though, I realized I chose a college ruled notebook instead of wide ruled. Smaller pages, but no less writing. Guess the joke was on me.
My first few days I grumbled a lot in my morning pages.
Funny thing about that grumbling, it made the rest of my day better. I guess my morning pages got my complaints out of the way... Why do I have to get up when it is still dark? How can I write these pages without having to get up a half hour earlier? I have to get up too early! I hate getting up when it is still dark...
Who knew I had so much negativity?
I think the grumbling is part of the process. Once I got that out of the way, I found my next days pages were not so focused on the negative. I found myself rambling on and on. Some thoughts were important but most were seemingly insignificant. There was no rhyme or reason to what I wrote, no plan. Which, now that I think about it, is probably part of the rebirth process.
I am such a planner that writing random thoughts in no particular order is totally out of character.
Some days, I was using my morning pages to unconsciously work out problems. My pages are giving me insight into what I really want...what I enjoy...and what I don't. Other days I started out writing about a specific memory, but it quickly evolved into something totally different. Part of the rules of morning pages is not to re-read what you wrote (at least not until the book instructs you to). So, there is no way to go back and second guess my previous days pages. Or to be embarrassed by what I wrote. Probably a good thing.
Surprisingly, I have been consistent about writing my morning pages each day.
The pages force me to think ahead: get my lunch packed the night before, decide what I will wear before I stare down the clothes in my closet, and get out of bed early enough to write without worrying I will be late for work or whatever thing I am committed to do. They clear my head and get me ready to start a new day without endless worries bogging me down. Even if I start with nothing in mind I always manage to fill three pages. My daughter thinks I sound more positive when we talk. And, I actually feel more upbeat than I have in a long time.
I guess I am off to a good start!
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