It is uncomfortable for me to give, or receive, a high five from the person next to me on the treadmill, even after we both completed the same Orange Everest climb, just at different speeds. It feels awkward. While I appreciate the thought, I don't understand this supportive team mentality. I am shocked when the coach comes up to me and says, good job or good form. When they correct what I am doing wrong it is easy for me to feel embarrassed that I didn't get it right the first time, instead of grateful they noticed and cared enough to help.
In 1972 Congress passed the Educational Amendments. One section of this law, Title IX, prohibits discrimination against girls and women in federally-funded education, including in athletics programs.
Growing up, there were no girls sports teams.
We were never taught the fundamentals - not in gym class and certainly not as part of some summer program. We were steered toward more appropriate activities like badminton, square dancing, and maybe tumbling (not to be confused with gymnastics) where we rolled awkwardly across padded mats. Little League baseball, intramural basketball, football clinics, wrestling - all just for the boys. Girls learned to cook, sew and maybe, if the family could afford lessons, play piano.
Girls just did not participate in organized team sports.
We were encouraged to be cheerleaders or pompom girls and if we couldn't make either team, pursue some academic achievement in our spare time. The feminine social hierarchy was well defined - cheerleaders, pompoms, and everyone else. For one glorious year I dipped my toe into girls athletics, such as it was. I earned a spot as pompom girl, mainly because my friends were on the team and not because of any true desire or ability.
I was in high school when I first felt the effects of Title IX in my small town.
Suddenly, we had girls cross country, girls gymnastics, girls volleyball, and girls basketball. We didn't know the rules. Most of the us had never handled a basketball or volleyball before. No one had taught us to dribble or spike. It was mostly parents who attended games (or the occasional boys who liked to see girls run around in short shorts).
By the time this happened I was happily entrenched in my non-athletic activities, falling safely into the academic tier. I was on the forensics team, was the token girl on the high quiz bowl team, and was the year book editor by my Senior year, I dabbled in the greasepaint of musical theater, sang in the choir and wrote a weekly High School Happenings article for the local paper.
This is why it is so hard for me to see myself as even remotely athletic.
I instantly become that seventh grader who tried to run the half mile but failed to realize how much commitment to daily practice was required, I didn't know you had to build endurance and learn technique. I revert back to that little girl who, running in her first race, hears the crowd yelling run faster and just couldn't. Instead of patting myself on the back for finishing in the top three, I berated myself for not coming in first. So twisted.
In almost every activity, I often feel like I could have done better, done more.
I may not have played team sports, but I do feel empowered when I accomplish anything physically challenging. I understand the draw athletes feel to their sport. I, too, feel competitive and want to win. I don't want to give up in the face of adversity. Only problem, I lack confidence in my abilities. Confidence younger adults seem to have in abundance. Was it because I was never pushed physically? Or felt like part of a team?
As I get older, I realize I like the muscle aches the day after a tough workout. It helps me remember how far I have come...how much my body can achieve. I am getting used to the encouragement of my fellow OTF members and good job doesn't feel so foreign. I am grateful that little girls can embrace team sports in a way that was not afforded to me, all because of Title IX..
I am finally learning the pleasure of physical activity and team support.
It is a good feeling.
No comments:
Post a Comment